Pregnancy diaries: Darina vankova on ivf, being pregnant at 40 and the importance of self care

Name: Darina Vankova

Age: 40 years old

How many weeks? 24 weeks pregnant. 

- Tell us about the moment you found out you were pregnant...

It wasn’t exactly a surprise, as we had undergone IVF treatment. Two weeks after the embryo transfer, I returned to the clinic for a blood test to confirm whether the pregnancy had been successful. The test was done early in the morning and we were told we would receive a call within a few hours.

The entire day passed and my husband and I were anxiously waiting. By early evening, unable to wait any longer, I went to a pharmacy, bought a pregnancy test, and took it in the office bathroom. It showed a positive result. Shortly after, we received the call from the clinic confirming the news.

We were overwhelmed with gratitude and pure joy. 

- How are you feeling really?

I am feeling much better now. The first trimester was extremely challenging - constant nausea, overwhelming fatigue, and the emotional weight of being considered a high-risk pregnancy were not easy.

Thankfully, the second trimester has been much kinder. I feel more stable and more present. I am in absolute awe of what the female body is capable of. The more I reflect on the miracle of creating life, the more mesmerised I become. 

- What’s surprised you most so far?

The genuine kindness and happiness from our family and closest friends. The level of support and excitement has been deeply touching. It reminds you how meaningful the right community can really be.

- What advice have you ignored?

In today’s digital world, where everyone can position themselves as an “expert,” it is very easy to fall into the trap of misinformation. Social media can be overwhelming, especially when certain voices dismiss medical guidance or routine check ups.

While I respect that everyone has their own beliefs, I believe pregnancy is not the time to experiment based on online trends. I choose to listen to qualified medical professionals and make informed decisions grounded in science and care. 

- What’s been unexpectedly comforting?

That my husband has been the most important support mechanism in this journey. Having gone through the fertility assistance and not the easiest pregnancy journey, I am truly grateful for his tremendous support, love and care.  

- What’s one thing you wish people understood?

That every journey to motherhood is different.

Even well intended advice can feel misplaced when it doesn’t consider someone’s unique circumstances. And perhaps most importantly, family planning is deeply personal.

Questions like “Why don’t you have children yet?” or assumptions about whether someone even wants children can be hurtful.

Sometimes silence and kindness are the greatest forms of respect. 

- Any brands/products/services which have helped you through pregnancy so far?

I want to be fully transparent here - I am the founder of Balinese Luxury Touch Home Spa, and I may be biased, but prenatal and lymphatic drainage massages from my own team have been an essential part of my pregnancy journey.

Pregnancy places an enormous physical, emotional, and hormonal demand on a woman’s body, and having access to highly trained therapists I personally trust has made a world of difference. During such a vulnerable time, I simply wouldn’t feel comfortable placing myself in anyone else’s hands.

What this experience has reinforced for me is how important proper training truly is. Prenatal massage is not a standard treatment, it requires specialised knowledge and a deep understanding of the pregnant body. Choosing qualified professionals is not a luxury, it’s a necessity.

Every woman deserves to feel safe, supported, and genuinely cared for during pregnancy. 

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