How to help your kids regulate in times of uncertainty

Without stating the obvious, times feel a little uncertain at the moment. When life throws curveballs, we as adults can usually decide how we want to behave and regulate our own emotions. But it is a very different story when it comes to our children.

The responsibility sits with us to help them feel calm, secure and emotionally regulated.

Children borrow regulation from adults, so simply put it’s on us to keep our emotions in check in order to support them. We have all heard the phrase, “Put your own oxygen mask on before helping others,” and it couldn’t be a more fitting analogy. If we aren’t regulated, they won’t be either.

Here are a few ways to help your kids regulate in times of uncertainty:

Support Your Own Regulation

Putting yourself first before helping others is essential. While it may feel counterintuitive, your ability to regulate directly impacts your child’s ability to do the same. Where possible, try to prioritise good sleep, regular movement and time away from constant news updates. Reducing doom scrolling and limiting exposure to distressing information can significantly help steady your nervous system.

Children are incredibly perceptive. They sense tension, anxiety and overwhelm even when we try to hide it. Supporting your own wellbeing is not selfish, it is foundational.

Control Your Actions

Although we cannot control external events, we can control how we respond to them. When you are around your children, aim to keep your breathing slow, your voice low and your narrative calm. Your tone and body language communicate safety more than your words ever will.

Try to avoid discussing negative or frightening topics within earshot, particularly conversations that may create fear you later need to undo. If you feel overwhelmed, take a moment away to gather yourself before re-engaging. Showing up calmly, even when things feel uncertain, provides a powerful sense of security.

Routine Is Your Best Friend

One of the quickest ways to dysregulate a child is to remove predictability. Uncertainty increases when routines disappear. In times of change, try as much as possible to maintain your usual structure especially around mealtimes, bath times and bedtimes.

Simple, consistent rhythms throughout the day help children feel safe because they know what to expect. You can reinforce this by asking, “What do we usually do next?” This encourages them to mentally map out their routine and strengthens their sense of stability.

When the outside world feels unpredictable, routine becomes an anchor.

Explain the Situation in a Child-Appropriate Way

Children do not need every detail. In fact, too much information can heighten anxiety. Keep adult conversations out of their earshot where possible and avoid having news channels playing in the background.

When your child asks questions, answer honestly but briefly. Offer reassurance without overwhelming them with information. It is possible to tell the truth in a contained and age-appropriate way. Let them know that grown-ups are handling the situation and that they are safe.

Clear, calm explanations build trust and reduce fear.

Connection Is Regulation

One of the most powerful ways to support an unregulated child is through connection. When children feel unsettled, what they are really seeking is safety and closeness.

Connection can be simply be a hug, sitting beside them, reading together, playing a short game or spending a few minutes of uninterrupted one-on-one time. Being fully present, without distraction, goes a long way in calming their nervous system.

Often, behaviour that looks like acting out is really a bid for connection. Meeting that need first can prevent escalation and restore calm more quickly than correction alone.

Regression Is Normal

During times of fear or uncertainty, children may regress. This might look like increased clinginess, bedwetting, baby talk, difficulty sleeping or more emotional outbursts. While it can be frustrating, this is a normal response to stress.

Regression is a sign that your child is seeking reassurance. With time, consistency and connection, it will pass. Try to avoid telling them off or getting cross about these small setbacks. Instead, offer extra comfort and remind them they are doing a great job.

Patience and understanding during these moments strengthen long-term emotional resilience.

You do not need to eliminate uncertainty to support your child. You simply need to be a steady, reassuring presence within it. Calm, connection and consistency go further than perfection ever could.

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Scarlett Sykes is a writer and mum of three living in Dubai.