#mumchat - Louise Rowe on life as a boy mum, starting a new career and what truly matters

NAME: Lou Rowe

AGE: 40

NATIONALITY: British

LOCATION: Dubai

NUMBER OF YEARS BEING A MUM: 7

TELL US ABOUT YOUR KIDS: Two highly energetic boys. One 7 going on 75, the other 4 going on 14. Best friends 78% of the time, indifferent 6% of the time, mafia-style bosses of opposing gangs 16% of the time.

INSTAGRAM HANDLE: @roweandrise

1. What’s one thing you wish you’d known before becoming a parent?

How quickly I’d ditch the ‘I’ll never do that as a parent’ rules I’d set myself! I think before you actually have kids, you have a utopian view of how you’ll parent – you see the Instagram reels, the podcast snippets, the blogs of how we should all operate as gentle, new age parents – but the advice is never layered with the reality of how it feels in moment of overwhelm – you will make a threat in a moment of panic, you will say ‘fine watch TV for half an hour’ on the weekend when you need a break – you don’t have to be a perfect parent, you just have to try your best. Follow @thedailytay for amazing reels of Boomer vs Millennial parenting checks!

2. What’s something you swore you’d never do as a parent – but do now?

Perfect segway into the above answer! I definitely promised myself that I wouldn’t use ‘dessert’ as a bribe to finish meals – and I often find myself doing this. Now…our ‘dessert’ is only fruit and yoghurt most of the time (so I give myself a small break there). But despite doing all the baby-led, texture friendly weaning, there’s times when you’re also just trying to keep them alive and growing…so they need to finish their meal!

3. What was the BEST piece of parenting advice you’ve received?

From the brilliant Helen and Nick Farmer…in quite a stern manner…do not turn on each other. It honestly it the BEST piece of advice – you and your partner are a team, try as much as possible to align on your parenting style, support each other, even in moments when you’re not 100% aligned (children can detect weakness!). But not only for the direct parenting, also the mental load. Be honest with each other when you’re struggling, what you’re good at, what you’re not good at. I’m better at keeping the boys occupied in the house, my husband is better out of the house – so at the weekend, when the other

needs a bit of a rest – we can tag-team.

4. Share with us your biggest “parenting fail” – we promise no judgement here!

Forcing potty training on my eldest. He was two and a half when my second was born, and I’d told myself that I didn’t want to have two in nappies, and two years old, I thought, was the right age to start. It was a disaster, he wasn’t ready – potty training took forever. With my youngest, we waited for the ‘signs’ – and although that journey wasn’t perfect either, it felt like it was the right time for him.

5. How do you balance life?

Erm… this probably sounds really boring, but planning. Plan the weekend, plan the holidays, plan the meals. When you’re in the thick of things, knowing there’s already SOME sort of plan is kind of liberating. A friend said to us when we were pregnant ‘routine is the key to freedom’ – I think you can apply that thinking to multiple areas of life.

I think also being honest with yourself and your partner about what you love and what you need – I have always loved working, being a working Mum is a super important part of my identity. Going to work means I’m a better Mum to my kids when I’m home (full respect to SAHMs – honestly, I couldn’t do it).

But at the beginning of last year, my ‘love’ for what I did had slipped. The industry I’d spent 20 years working in had changed and my skillset and passion just didn’t align anymore to the only trade I knew. So, we talked. We planned. We saved. And earlier this year, I quit my full time role, retrained and launched a new business called Rowe & Rise. I now deliver coaching for people and teams in the early stages of their careers, helping them cut through the fluff, and find clarity and direction that truly feels right for them. I’ve found the joy in my work again – and that means I show up better for my family and feel as ‘balanced’ as is feasible!

6. One parenting hack you’d like to share with us.

Card games – and A LOT of them. We’ve always tried to avoid screens at the dinner table – and card games have been an absolutely lifeline. It started with basic snap, matching pairs – but now the kids are older, we have every version of Uno going, Top Trumps, Battleships, and most recently Taco, Cat, Goat, Cheese, Pizza. The boys absolutely love them and it’s such a brilliant family activity when the kids meals are taking that liiiittle bit too long!

7. What do you hope your kids say about you when they’re older?

I guess that they have great memories of being young. They remember our weekend cycles and walks, they remember the card games, they remember the Christmas traditions, they remember us reading to them every night before bed. I hope they remember that Mum and Dad worked hard to give them a great childhood, and that our family time, it was really great family time.

8. 3 words that describe #MumLife to you

Passionate

Affectionate

Understanding

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Hear more about Lou's journey on her Instagram page @roweandrise.

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