#mumchat - Juggling mum Vanina Grisoni shares her life and mum hacks

NAME:  Vanina Grisoni

AGE: 40

NATIONALITY:  French

LOCATION: Paris

NUMBER OF YEARS BEING A MUM: 5

TELL US ABOUT YOUR KIDS:

A five-year-old girl with a Gemini sun and a Capricorn moon. She loves to learn and has been reading since she was four. She is basically a little adult and a second mom to her brother. She wants to understand and be involved in all discussions. Scorpio Rising: She regulates her strong emotions by clinging to us (and we love it!). She loves riding ponies every Sunday.

A two-year-old boy with a Pisces sun: He is a bundle of love, so caring and full of compassion. He has a Sagittarius moon and is the sun in a room. He is an explorer who loves adventure. He has a Capricorn rising and makes everyone feel grounded and calm around him. He has a passion for cooking and always wants to be in the kitchen.

INSTAGRAM HANDLE: @vanina.grisoni

Vanina Grisoni is a women’s health specialist, educator, and founder of multiple women-centered learning platforms. Vanina has a background in engineering and international business. She has managed large-scale funding initiatives for NGOs and development banks, leading projects that serve governments and institutions worldwide.

However, it was her roles as a yoga teacher and mother that sparked her interest in the foundations of health, leadership, and education. Vanina’s work champions a new model of women’s health, one that is grounded in sovereignty, sustainability, and a profound respect for the innate intelligence of the female body. She loves integrating physiology, hormonal health, nervous system regulation, and embodied and ancestral wisdom.

Vanina is the co-founder of BINDU Institute, which offers a pioneering Master's degree program in Holistic Health Sciences for health and wellness practitioners worldwide.

1. What’s one thing you wish you’d known before becoming a parent?

   
   

I will not only learn to give birth to humans (and discover how much I love it), but also bring to life all the dreams and projects lying dormant inside me. Before becoming a mom, I was a dreamer with a head full of ideas. I always admired people who launched their ideas into the world.

I limited the way I defined myself and what I was capable of: "I'm not an entrepreneur or a public speaker," or "communication and marketing are not for me." Having my daughter changed everything. I felt my power for the first time. If I could grow a human being inside me and go through the trials of giving birth, what else could I do?

Becoming a mother inspired me to take a big leap toward my life's purpose. I became an entrepreneur five months after my daughter was born. Since then, I have launched Bindu with my dear women co-founders, Alesha Cumpton and Suzanne Faith, PhD, and created two other businesses, while becoming a mother for the second time.

Becoming a mother connects you to your power and gives you the strength to pursue your dreams. It will give you the strength to live your passions fully and be a living example for your children to follow.

2. What’s something you swore you’d never do as a parent—but do now?

   
   

I remember swearing that they would sleep in their own room before they turned one. Most nights, I have slept with them close to me, like a mother wolf would. First, I'll admit that I love cuddling with their warm, small bodies. One of my favorite things is to have my son's tiny feet on my stomach, as if he's connected to where it all began for him.

I see how much it calms them down. Children under six don't have mature nervous systems and struggle to regulate strong emotions or big events that occur during the day. Being physically close to a safe person helps them regulate and process, and it builds a strong, resilient nervous system for their adult life.

So, if you love sleeping with your little ones, don't forbid yourself from doing so! Remember that not so long ago, our ancestors all slept in the same room.

3. What was the BEST piece of parenting advice you’ve received?

   
   

"Everything changes. Nothing lasts forever," a dear friend told me two days after my daughter was born. Things will get hard. Over and over, motherhood will challenge you and stretch you to grow into the mother your children need you to be. Also know that those challenges won't last; they will come and go. If things are hard right now, take comfort in knowing that they won't last.

You will also experience extraordinary moments of growth in love. There will also be laughter. You will be amazed by some of the things your children do or say. Know that these moments will pass as well. Don't get attached. Don't be nostalgic when the things you love slip away because more will come and go.

Be fully present. Nourish yourself with the things you love about your journey through motherhood. Record all the good memories and cherish them. Let all the challenges pass you by; they won't last. You will only keep the growth that the challenges gave you.

4. Share with us your biggest “parenting fail” – we promise no judgement here!

   
   

The first week of my daughter's life, I held her in my arms and realized that I would never be able to return to my desk job after the legal maternity leave. I couldn't imagine not being with her full time or having someone else take care of her. So, I took a leave of absence to be a full-time mother.

As I became a mother, my passions came alive. I started working on building the Bindu Institute while my daughter was napping or asleep at night. I remember taking calls while she played outside in the park.

I thought I could do and be everything. After a year of burning the candle at both ends, I started to become really exhausted. I realized that nothing was working as I had hoped: I was not the present mother I wanted to be. Even though I was there 24/7, my mind was always elsewhere, constantly multitasking. I always felt like I wasn't doing enough for Bindu or my other projects.

Finally, I surrendered and found a part-time daycare solution. It didn't go as I had hoped. My daughter was not used to being taken care of by anyone but me and her dad. It took her three months to finally settle in. During those three months, I tipped over the edge of parental burnout. Seeing her distress caused too much emotional turmoil on top of my physical exhaustion.

I recovered and learned from the experience. When my son was born, I found a wonderful nanny. When he was two months old, she started coming to take care of him four times per week for one to two hours. We slowly increased her hours as I felt ready. She took care of him at home, so I could see him and breastfeed him whenever I wanted. It was perfect.

5. How do you balance life?

It took some adjustments over the years, but I can say that I am very happy with where I am today. I work about 25 hours per week. I am there for school pickup and every Wednesday and weekend with my kids. What has really changed is my ability to be fully present with them. I spend a lot of quality time with my little ones.

The keys have been:

1) Focus : I make the most of my time when I am not with my kids. I don't waste time; I get things done. Motherhood teaches you to be efficient with your time.

2) Systems: I learned to be very organized. I automate as much as I can in my business and leverage AI where I can.

3) Support: I dedicate my time to my zone of genius: holding the vision, defining strategies for growth and impact, and teaching. My partners or our support team manage the rest.

6. One parenting hack you’d like to share with us.

Take a radical approach to self-care. Prioritise rest and nourishment because, as you often hear, you cannot pour from an empty cup.

Most importantly, learn to regulate your nervous system. This is the foundation for being in a space where you can actually mother the way you want to. Also, know that children under the age of six will basically copy their primary caregiver's nervous system, so know that this is also a gift for them.

Create your nervous system regulation toolbox: breathwork, shaking, walking in nature, restorative yoga, and heat therapy. Practice these techniques with your children; they will especially love shaking.

7. What do you hope your kids say about you when they’re older?

All I want is for them to know that they are loved for who they are and that they should accept nothing less from anyone. I want them to feel that I have prepared them to live fulfilling lives, knowing and owning their gifts, having the confidence and drive to follow their dreams, and always knowing that the best is yet to come.

8. 3 words that describe #MumLife to you

Love, laughter and boundaries.