#Mumchat - Sarit Shefer on ADHD, trusting your gut and the art of delegation

NAME: Sarit Shefer

AGE: 47

NATIONALITY: British

LOCATION: Dubai (soon to be Singapore!)

NUMBER OF YEARS BEING A MUM: 18 (!)

TELL US ABOUT YOUR KIDS: Two boys (18 and 13) and a girl (8)

INSTAGRAM HANDLE: @styledbysarit

ABOUT SARIT:

Sarit is a Dubai based Personal Stylist and founder of Styled by Sarit, helping busy women regain their confidence, rediscover their unique style and feel amazing in the body they have now.

She is also a busy mum of 3 with wide ranging ages, so busy dealing with primary school dramas up to university applications and ferrying her kids to their many activities, wondering how it is that they have a better social life than she does…

1. What’s one thing you wish you’d known before becoming a parent?

   
   

Expect the unexpected, but know that things will be ok. Our parenting experience with our first child was nothing like we thought it would be. Diagnosed with ADHD at a young age, parenting our eldest son was a challenging time for us as a family and first time parents. There were many lows and the one thing I wish I’d known and believed was that everything

would be ok, that he would find his tribe, that he would be happy and thrive, that we (and him) would learn to manage his ADHD and that he would be an incredibly loving and lovely young man.

2. What’s something you swore you’d never do as a parent—but do now?

Let my daughter sleep in our bed! I’m trying to pick my battles…

3. What was the BEST piece of parenting advice you’ve received?

Trust your gut. Always. As a mum you will know instinctively what’s best for your child and you need to trust yourself.

The other piece of advice was to really listen to your kids when they speak with you, even if it’s about the little things (and you’re tired and bored out of your mind!). When you listen about the little things, as they grow up they will come to you about the big things too.

4. Share with us your biggest “parenting fail” – we promise no judgement here!

It’s a recent one! My daughter was so excited about a trip to Kite Beach for a Pirates Surf session with school and was talking about it for weeks! I kept promising her I would sign her up and was waiting for the email but none came and then a week before I realised the emails had gone out and we missed the deadline. No amount of pleading with the school and offering to bring her there myself on the day made a difference and she couldn’t go. She was devastated and is still talking about this!

5. How do you balance life?

   
   

It’s a juggling act and sometimes you need to know which balls you absolutely need to keep in the air and which you can allow to fall and pick up again! My husband travels extensively so I am also solo-parenting a lot of the time. We have a cleaner who comes in twice a week and is an absolute lifesaver and my 18 year old son is a huge help as well and will occasionally cook for us all (trust me, his cooking is far superior to mine!).

Every few months I also take some time out alone and book myself into a hotel for the weekend to rest and recharge (and catch up on work!) – I find this is absolutely essential to my mental wellbeing and that I’m a much nicer and more patient mum when I’ve had some downtime and recharged my batteries.

We also make time for date nights or even a quick coffee/ breakfast between work and meetings when my husband is back home. I’m a huge believer that you need to put the effort into the relationship with your partner and nurture it.

6. One parenting hack you’d like to share with us

Delegate – especially with older children! They love showing me they can do the task I asked them to do, especially if it’s a “grown up” task. We came home last week from a date night to find the 8 year old cleaning the kitchen (she had helped me when my husband was away and I had been so pleased and showered her with compliments then!).

7. What do you hope your kids say about you when they’re older?

She was always there when I needed her and I know how loved I am.

8. 3 words that describe #MumLife to you

Joyful, Chaotic, Loving

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If you'd like to be featured in #MumChat, please email sarah@raemona.com