Little Habits, Big Feelings: How to Talk to Your Kids About Self-Care

When we hear the words self-care, we often think of adult things: long baths, workouts, quiet coffee moments or switching off from emails. But self-care isn’t an adult-only concept. In fact, some of the most powerful self-care habits are formed in childhood, through simple conversations, everyday routines and the way we model kindness to ourselves.

For children, self-care isn’t about bubble baths or yoga poses. It’s about learning how to understand their feelings, recognise when something doesn’t feel right, and knowing it’s okay to pause, rest, ask for help or say no.

So how do we talk to our kids about self-care in a way that feels natural, age-appropriate and not overwhelming?

Here’s where to start.

1. Keep it simple and relatable

Children don’t need big explanations. Self-care can be introduced in everyday language they already understand.

Instead of saying “self-care”, try:

• “Listening to your body”

• “Looking after your feelings”

• “Doing things that help you feel calm or happy”

You might say:

“When we feel tired, our body is telling us it needs rest.”“When you feel upset, what usually helps you feel better?”

These small conversations help children connect feelings with actions.

2. Normalise all feelings (even the tricky ones)

One of the most important parts of self-care is emotional awareness. Children need to know that all feelings are allowed - not just the positive ones.

Let them hear phrases like:

• “It’s okay to feel sad.”

• “Everyone gets worried sometimes.”

• “You’re not naughty for feeling angry.”

When feelings are named and accepted, children learn that caring for themselves starts with understanding what’s happening inside.

3. Model self-care out loud

Children learn more from what we do than what we say. Talking openly about your own self-care shows them it’s normal and necessary.

Try narrating simple moments:

• “I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed, so I’m going to take a few deep breaths.”

• “I’m tired today, so I’m choosing an early night.”

• “I said no to something because I needed rest.”

This teaches children that looking after yourself isn’t selfish - it’s healthy.

4. Create small self-care rituals together

Self-care doesn’t need to be big or time-consuming. Creating tiny rituals helps children feel safe and supported.

Some ideas:

• A calm bedtime routine with a story and quiet chat

• A “feelings check-in” after school

• A few deep breaths together before homework

• A weekly walk or drawing time to unwind

When children help choose these rituals, they feel more in control of their wellbeing.

5. Encourage listening to their body

Kids often push through tiredness, hunger or emotions because they don’t yet know how to recognise them.

Gently prompt awareness:

• “Does your tummy feel full or still hungry?”

• “Are your eyes feeling tired?”

• “Do you need a break or a cuddle?”

This helps children tune into their physical and emotional signals - a lifelong self-care skill.

6. Teach that asking for help is self-care

Self-care isn’t about doing everything alone. It’s also about knowing when to reach out.

Reassure your child:

• “You can always talk to me.”

• “It’s okay to ask for help when something feels hard.”

• “Grown-ups need help too sometimes.”

This builds emotional safety and trust - one of the strongest foundations for wellbeing.

Talking to kids about self-care isn’t a one-off conversation. It’s hundreds of small moments, repeated gently over time. It’s in the way we respond to tears, the pauses we allow, and the compassion we show ourselves as parents too.

When children learn early that their feelings matter and their needs deserve attention, they grow up knowing how to look after themselves - not perfectly, but kindly.

And that might just be one of the greatest gifts we can give them.