Honest Chat - DO WE ALL HAVE THE SAME 24 HOURS?

“I don’t understand how she can complain; we all have the same 24 Hours”. Sounds like something you would say or at least had said to you?

I have been at the both sides of that conversation and I can assure you, as a parent that the earth spins a lot faster for me now. Nobody prepares you for the days when you are frantically banging on those laptop keys with a toddler hanging from your leg like a little Koala bear. Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining, I wouldn’t trade this life for the world. But it would feel a lot better to be acknowledged. There were countless moments during my entrepreneurial journey when I didn’t feel seen. Every day, you come across hundreds of Instagram carousels telling women to “Go get ‘em”, or “take action now”. Trust me I will.. as soon as the chores are done, my kids are fed and bathed, and assuming I’m not mentally wiped out by then.

As women (parents or otherwise), we wear many hats every day. It’s exhausting being the go-to person for everyone around you. Not all of us have the help we need or a village we wish we had. So why are we expected to live up to the same standards? They say the modern woman can do it all, but somewhere along the way, that idea has started working against us. Men have been weaponizing incompetence for decades now (“Oh you do it better”, or, “I don’t know how to do this”), we’ve also begun weaponizing standardized competence against one another. If she has elderly parents who need extra care, or small children clinging to her all day.. If she is a single mom, if her partner travels a lot, if she is struggling with mental health or went through a personal loss or trauma, she simply CAN NOT function the same way that you do.

Let’s say for example, Susan and Sarah are childhood best friends who work at the same office in Downtown Dubai. Susan had a baby a year ago while Sarah is living her best single-girl era. Susan woke up late on a Monday morning after barely sleeping because of a very fussy baby with a stomach bug. She battles morning traffic to reach the office, only to realize that she was too tired to notice she is wearing mismatched shoes. Oh well!

Sarah, meanwhile, wakes up after eight uninterrupted hours, makes a matcha, gets in a yoga session, showers, and slips on a power suit with matching YSL heels. She beats the traffic and walks into the office ready to conquer the day. During the morning meeting, Sarah presents a brilliant pitch for their upcoming launch, while Susan struggles to manage her train of thoughts. The manager seems disappointed in Susan, and we all know who’s getting the bonus next quarter.

While not a perfect example, it perfectly illustrates the point: Susan’s 24 hours are nothing like Sarah’s. Judging them by the same standards isn’t just unfair, it reeks of indifference. They’re running completely different races. Susan may not even care about the bonus and Sarah has worked very hard to deserve it without a doubt; but what Susan would appreciate is acknowledgment that she’s doing one hell of a job with the circumstances she’s navigating.

In this age and time when kindness feels like a scarce resource, choose empathy. She is waiting for you to respect her efforts. For her, hitting “publish” on an Instagram post might be the equivalent of you giving a TEDx talk. Imagine someone running a marathon with 100 pounds strapped to her body. If she still crosses the finish line, cheer for her. For some weights are not visible. They come in the shape and size of trauma, personal loss, bad breakups, emotional load of solo parenting, or simply too many responsibilities.

We all have been judgmental at some point in life but the goal is to evolve, to keep the sisterhood alive, and to say that “I see you, and I appreciate you”.

// Bushra Mehdi - find her on LinkedIn or Insta.