The Identity Phase: Helping Teens Build Self-Esteem in a World of Comparison

As students across the Emirates return to school, psychologists are highlighting an often-overlooked challenge beyond academics: how constant comparison, particularly through social media, impacts teenagers’ self-esteem and identity development.

Adolescence, typically between ages 12 and 18, is a pivotal phase of self-discovery. Renowned psychologist Erik Erikson defined this as the stage of identity versus role confusion, where teens grapple with the central question: “Who am I?” Positive development during this phase leads to a strong, stable sense of self, while uncertainty and external pressures can cause self-doubt.

“Teenagers in the UAE are navigating this identity stage under unique circumstances,” explains Lindi Nhlapo, Psychologist at Thrive Wellbeing Centre. “With one of the highest levels of internet and social media use in the world, they are exposed daily to curated portrayals of perfection. This can inspire them, but it can also heighten self-comparison and chip away at confidence.”

The statistics underline this challenge:

• 99% of UAE residents have internet access

  
  

• As of early 2025, there are 11.3 million active social media accounts in the UAE, exceeding the country’s population, with many individuals managing multiple accounts

  
  

• Around 80% of residents aged 13 and above actively use platforms like Instagram and Snapchat, making UAE teens some of the world’s most active social media users

  
  

• A UAE-based study among young adults (ages 18–24) found a clear link between heavy social media use and lower self-esteem. About 42.67% of those spending more time online reported feeling less confident

  
  

• Interestingly, participants who used social media for a moderate 4–5 hours daily reported higher self-esteem compared to those spending more than 9 hours a day

“Parents often assume that all screen time is harmful, but the research suggests it’s about balance and mindful use,” adds Nhlapo. “When teens use social media moderately, it can actually support self-expression and confidence. The risk comes with excessive, uncritical consumption that leads to constant upward comparison.”

To help families protect and strengthen teens’ self-esteem during the school year, Thrive Wellbeing Centre recommends:

• Model self-worth by speaking kindly about yourself and others, showing that value comes from character and effort—not popularity or appearance

  
  

• Encourage individual strengths by supporting activities that allow teens to discover talents, values, and passions

  
  

• Teach critical thinking so teens can view online content with perspective, understanding that social media often shows only part of the story

  
  

• Create safe spaces for open conversation, listening without judgment so teens feel validated and supported

  
  

• Promote offline connections through hobbies, friendships, and activities that foster genuine joy and belonging

As the new school year begins, we want parents to know they play an essential role in helping teenagers build a resilient sense of identity,” concludes Nhlapo. “When teens feel seen, supported, and encouraged to value themselves beyond comparisons, they are better equipped for both academic success and emotional well-being.”

For additional information and resources, please visit www.thrive.ae