Signs You ARE a Good Parent

It’s one of those Mornings from Hell. The milk spills before making it into the cereal bowl. The little one has a meltdown because the (last) banana is bruised. The older one doesn’t like how his socks feel on his feet. No matter how much you rush, you’re running late. Only when you bang the door behind you do you realise that one kid is wearing the wrong shoes (it’s PE today, remember?!) just as the other one announces that their water bottle isn’t in their school bag. By some sort of miracle, you get the kids to school on time, but not without a fight, a stress, a thousand bribes and the odd threat. You kiss them goodbye, “Have a lovely day, sweetheart!” And as they disappear into the classroom, you feel like the worst parent ever. What a day. And it’s not even nine o’clock.

But it doesn’t matter if you’re not a perfect parent. Nobody is perfect.

Maybe this didn’t register because you’ve been scrolling. Your algorithm is showing you lots of momstagrammers with spotless homes and well-behaved clean children. It’s easy to forget that making content is their full-time job and it’s not normal to have a tripod set up to film your kids brushing their teeth or finishing their last (homemade) baked bean. So to reiterate, nobody is perfect. Social media just loves to trick us. It’s cruel, making you feel like you’re doing something wrong, when you’re likely doing everything right.

Because it’s the little things that make a good parent and a happy child. You don’t need an all expenses paid trip to Disneyland, a sponsorship deal from a homeschooling digital tablet or a ball-pond in your basement. Some kids have this in abundance but might not have a loving, supportive parent.

You just need a little reminder that you’re doing a good job. Fine, you might feel like you could have handled this morning better, but does that define you as a parent? Look at the bigger picture. If any of the following feels familiar, give yourself a break. You’re doing the best you can, and more.

1.  Failing is Allowed...

…For you AND your child. Failure never feels good. But in reality, its right there, waiting to happen to all of us. If you’re teaching them that mistakes are actually our best teachers, you’re building resilience. You encourage them to try again and let them know that’s it’s okay if it doesn’t work out.

2.  Good Habits Replace Bad Ones

Maybe you used to smoke. Maybe you’ve cut back on drinking. Maybe you put your phone down to be more present with your family. Even if you’re cooking healthier meals, you’re doing this for your kids. You’re setting a great example. What’s more, you’ve discovered patience…even if you don’t agree with this, you tolerate listening to you child’s favourite (terrible) song on repeat and listen to their long monologues about Gabby’s Doll House or Minecraft without experiencing enlightenment (or actual understanding). Come on, you even give them your last bite of donut!

3.  And You Still Mess Up!

Congratulations! You’re simply showing your child that you are a human being. How can you strive for perfection without learning from all those mistakes, eh?! It’s important that kids understand that adults are still learning and evolving too.

4.  You’re OK with Spiderman wearing a Tutu…

… Or spiky hair styles…. Or long discussions about prehistoric creatures… You’re allowing them to express themselves. You welcome their passions - and even learn from them - rather than expect them to become a Mini-You. You applaud them for the bedtime dance shows and act surprised at their magic tricks. You understand they are unique and you are their biggest cheerleader.

5.  You Never Compare

What’s the point in comparing yourself - or your children - to others? You’re focused on the specific situation you are in, parenting to your child’s needs instead of copying or competing with other parents whose children have different needs. Well done for not wasting so much precious energy.

6.  You Even Manage to Get Them Out of the House

So the dishes aren’t done, there’s Lego all over the floor and perhaps you forgot to brush your own hair (due to detangling little people’s locks). Give yourself a pat on the back because you left the house with children who are dressed, fed and ready to face the day. The chores can wait. If you made it in time for the morning bell at school, you actually deserve a medal.

7.  There’s Been Tears and Tantrums

It sucks when your kid shows anger towards you. But they’re doing this because they’re not afraid of you. You've set a boundary, stood your ground, and enforced a consequence when it was broken. You’re aware that your child needs you to be a parent, not a friend. However, you only have to look at them to know how they’re feeling. Whether its been an emotionally tricky day or acquiring a new bruise, you feel it all with them.

8.  Yet, You Still Give Yourself a Hard Time

Armin Brott, NYT best-selling author of The New Father series, believes parents who think they're failing at being parents are usually doing something right. “Chances are, if you've had that thought, you're doing okay,” he says. “In my experience, the parents who are supremely confident that they're always right are usually the worst.”

9.  Eating Together is a Priority…

…Even when it can be difficult and you’re juggling a lot throughout the week. If you make time for one regular family meal, maybe a Taco Tuesday or a Sunday Brunch, you’re making the effort to create focused, quality time together. It’s not easy, especially with toddlers, pre-schoolers and fussy eaters, but you’re committed to the bigger picture.

10.            You Tell Them You Love Them

Sounds obvious, right? But love should never be taken for granted. Don’t beat yourself up about being too soppy and showering your kid with I Love Yous. You’re giving them someone to trust, letting them know they’re valuable and being their biggest fan. Love is patient and love forgives, something children need in order to grow and make mistakes. It takes away fear and replaces with confidence. Love is priceless, just like your child.